Saturday, February 7, 2009


Sometimes the strangest things will enter my head and stay there for an unlikely amount of time and eventually make me sad.

As was the most recent example, the extinction of the Dodo.

I'm sad the Dodo no longer exists. For all of his cultural contributions to art, literature, and entertainment if nothing else. The Dodo has been and continues to be a great spark of the imagination for people the world over.

And while I think there is a certain amount of majesty in the otherwise comical appearance of the Dodo, I think at the very least people would agree that they could fall under the "so ugly, they're cute" category.

The Dodo was native to the island of Mauritius where it had no predators, fed on fruit, and nested on the ground. Because of their peaceful lives in isolation, the birds showed no fear of humans when they were first encountered.

Next thing you know, Man shows up with dogs, cats, rats, pigs, and Crab-eating Macaques. WTF?! Crab-Eating Macaques! These animals then raided the nests of the birds while man started tearing down their natural habitat and hunting them. Add to that a study which showed many animals were killed in a flash flood on the island and it's curtains for the unassuming and adorable Dodo!

It all just makes me mad. They got a raw deal. I want the Dodo back.

James Was Here

Another actor whom I greatly loved and admired since my childhood has died.

Emmy, Golden Globe, and Tony Award winner, and Academy Award nominee, James Whitmore died yesterday at the age of 87.

Whitmore brought me a lot of joy as a child with his performance in the movie Oklahoma! (as Ado Annie's Pa, Andrew Carnes) and by providing the voice of Mark Twain in The Adventures of Mark Twain, a Claymation film which I loved (and still do) for its simultaneous creepiness, hilarity, and poignancy.

James Whitmore brought me to tears with his portrayal of Brooks Hatlen in The Shawshank Redemption, was a saving grace (along with Linda Hunt) in the horror film The Relic, and was completely lovable in The Majestic (his last film appearance).

The man's body of film and television work alone spans nearly 60 years.

James was amazingly talented, had a very wise head on his shoulders, and I will miss him very much.

"I have no regrets, real regrets about any darn thing. I think second-guessing one's self and your life is the most futile thing in the world."

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Thank You Drunk Drivers!

Dear Drunk Drivers,

Thank you for killing about 13,000 people each year in the United States alone.

Thank you for tearing friends and families apart forever.

Thank you for violently taking away thousands of others' abilities to walk, stand, talk, or even breathe on their own.

Thank you so much for your devastatingly destructive selfishness.

For your completely unforgivable stupidity.

My friend Veronica has you to thank for her broken jaw and her dead sister-in-law.

Keep up the great work, you moronic deadly assholes.


I ♥ Bacon

My dear friend and godchild Lucy introduced me to what is likely to be the highlight of 2009. Okay, that's not true. I plan to have many more. But this will undoubtedly be among the top twenty, if not top ten.

My love of bacon is not a secret. I love eating in general, but breakfast food is one of my all-time favorites. Just give me an omelet and the boy lives!

I also love chocolate. I have an addiction to M&M's and, until my recent relocation to NY, I had an addiction to See's Candy (particularly their Blueberry Truffle).

Now two of my greatest joys in life have been combined by some of the world's foremost chefs and the combination is showing up on the dessert menus of the most chic urban eateries the world over.

That's right. Bacon is a dessert. Chefs are combining bacon with everything from chocolate to tarts to ice cream to cup cakes. And the very idea alone has thrust me into total ecstasy.

Click Here to read all about how bacon has broken free from the tether of the scrambled egg and joined forces with the pastries! Revolution!

My birthday is April 30th. I'm just sayin'.